Sorry not sorry!

By Thea Jaffe

What “sorry” really means in British English

Back in the States, I used to think this word could only be used to express regret or apologize. In the UK, however, “sorry” has emerged as “a prophylactic word” that “protects the user and the recipient from the potentially explosive consequences of the truth.” In practice, this verbal VIP pass will enable you to politely

Interrupt or disturb someone else.

“Sorry, do you know which buses stop here?”

Inconvenience someone.

“Sorry, but could you press 15?”

Get clarification.

“Sorry, but I didn’t quite catch your name?”

Get help, for example from a salesperson.

“Sorry, but do you have this in an 8?”

Ask for something.

“Sorry, but are you done with that newspaper?”

Point out someone’s mistake.

“Sorry, but I couldn’t find the attachment on your email. Could you send it again?”

Ask for a repetition when you didn’t quite catch something; used instead of “excuse me” or “I beg your pardon”.

“Sorry?” (with the usual rising intonation of a question)

Disagree.

“Sorry, but I would have to disagree…”

Disapprove.

“Sorry, but this isn’t going to work.”

Clear the way.

“Sorry, but can I just squeeze by?”

Complain.

“Sorry, but this soup seems a little cold.”

Cause minor physical harm to someone, for example by bumping into them or stepping on their foot – just mumble* “sorry” over your shoulder as you briskly walk away, and it’s all good!

*If you suspect the harm you caused is more than minor, use a superlative like “terribly” and increase your pace.

With this diverse array of uses, it’s no wonder that the average British person says ‘sorry’ around eight times per day! But can you use it to actually apologize?

“A single ‘sorry’ does not count as an apology,” says Kate Fox, a social anthropologist who has studied the use of the word in the UK in her book Watching the English, “we have to repeat it and embellish it with a lot of adjectives.”

Unfortunately, detailed guidance on how to sincerely apologize using repetition and additional vocabulary lies far beyond the scope of this article. Sorry not sorry! 😊

At Language Services Direct we help you understand cultural differences as well as teaching you improved communication and language skills.